"Penguins. Penguins don't fly."

Our neighbor bought ducklings a week before Dawn and I got ours. They also have a fresh litter of kittens. Today we walked our ducklings Sacha and Ace across the yard to visit "The Neighbor Lady". This is what transpired.

"OH MY GAWD!!!! YER DUCKS ARE SO TINY!!!! AAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! Oh gawd, ya got ta see ours. KEVIN!!!!! KEVIN, Bring the ducks out here! Oh gawd, oh gawd ya'll got ta see ours."

Kevin came out from behind the house holding two of the largest yellow ducklings known to man. After my initial shock I realized that they were Pekin, or Long Island ducklings. So I said, "Oh wow! Those are Pekin ducklings! How cool! I love how big they get. I saw them online and thought about getting some."

The neighbor lady said, "Oh they don't peck. Chickens will peck but not ducks."

I said, "No, Pekin is the kind of duck they are. They probably won't fly and are really loyal from what I've read. They act just like dogs."

"Who told you they peck? And all birds can fly. That's why they called birds, duh. Ya can hold these ducks all day long an they won' peck ya a'tall."

I just looked directly in her foggy blue eyes and said, "Penguins. Penguins don't fly."

She wrinkled up her face and said, "Well how tha hell are they supposed fly in a snow storm. Plus they got polar bears after em all the time so they got ta swim anyway."

At this point I looked to Dawn for help but she was of no use. I found her standing on the porch looking at me with a huge smile on her face, holding a kitten and going, "Kitten, Kitten, Kitten, Mike, Kitten, Mike, Kitten! LOOK! MIKE! KITTEN!" Clearly I was alone in the conversation.

Kevin, the neighbor lady's husband, walked up to me with the ducklings and handed one to me saying, "Don't worry, they won't peck you. S'long as ya don' squeeze em they'r real nice."