Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Gone Fishin!

During a meeting with a local business owner I was asked the following question.

"Ya like shark fishin' Mike?"

Now how the heck was I supposed to answer that? A million answers ran through my head but this is what came out.

"Heck Yeah! Well...I've never been shark fishing but I've always wanted to go."

"Ya know how ta stand up in a boat?"

"No problem." I said. I've actually been fishing on Lake Michigan since I was a little kid in 16 ft. boats but I didn't bother mentioning it.

"Well I'm goin shark fishin tamorah. Ya wanna come wit me?"

It goes without saying that if the business owner you are trying to land a contract with wants to do something then you smile and do it. If it involves breaking the law then you just weep inside, take a quick moral inventory of yourself and politely tell him no.

Shark fishing doesn't involve breaking the law so I said, "I'd love to go!"

And then I wept inside because I'm scared of sharks.

Most people have a fear of something. My fears are the ocean in general and sharks....because they live in the ocean. The way I see it, sharks have been streamlined by millions of years of evolution to become an efficient killing and eating machine. I, on the other hand, can walk upright and sharpen a stick at both ends if I need to.

"I'ma pick you up early Mike. Like 2 o'clock in the mornin. Ya think ya can be up that early?"

I didn't say it but I can do a heck of a lot of things at 2 o'clock in the morning if it means you are gonna sign a contract with me.

"No problem! Just let me know what I need to bring and I'll be ready."

It is now 10:12 pm and I can't sleep. In less than 4 hours I will be on my way to Nag's Head, North Carolina to go fishing for sharks with a man I do not know in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean.

Oh, I forgot to mention what he said when I told him I'd be happy to join him......

"Ya know Mike, we can go fer tha big'uns if ya gonna come wit me. Ya really need 3 maybe 4 guys ta go fer tha big'uns but I bet ya know yer way aroun' a boat so we ain't gonna have much'a problem I don' think. I like fishin tha big'uns a lot better. Just gotta remember ta get more bait.

"Now, I aint gonna lie Mike, them big'uns can tear ya up so ya got ta listen real good if I tell ya somethin. Ya ain't scared are ya? Cause if ya scared, then a shark, he'll know an he'll git ya. Them bastards is smart. But you just listen ta me an we gonna be OK."

In the event that this is my last blog post I want you all to know that I'm glad I was able to share a bit of my life with you. It's been my pleasure, really it has. (I'm gonna cry) So if I don't come back, just love your neighbors.....and never ever go shark fishing!

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