Tuesday, June 12, 2012

"Them bobcats is dangerous."

I walked over to show The Neighbor Lady our new kitten. This is what happened.

"OH MA GAWD!!!! OH MA GAWD KEVIN! KEVIN! GIT OUT HERE!!! Wut's his name? Oh ma gawd he's cute!"

"His name is Stewie, Dawn named him. But I wanted to name him Geppetto. He's part bobcat."

"Oh gawd he's gonna claw you up! Put him down Mike he's wild and he could have the rabies. Ask my mom, them bobcats is dangerous. Wun of em kilt two of our cats a while back. Them neighbors right there, the preachers, they had a half bobcat and it wus meeeeeeean. We even told em it wus mean and they still let it kill our cats."

"Well I'm sure we don't have anything to worry about with this little guy. We are taking really good care of him and besides, he's only part bobcat. If he gets out of hand then we will just keep him in the house."


"Actually its more domestic cat than bobcat. If you are going to get racial about it then at least lets be accurate."

"Racist? Why the hell is a cat gonna be racist? You mean cuz them neighbors is black that they had a mean cat? Mike it was a bobcat plain and simple. They is meeeean. KEVIN! GIT UP HERE AND LOOK AT THIS BOBCAT MIKES GOT!!"

"" I just looked at her glassy blue eyes and fought back the urge to thump her in between them with something heavy.

"What the hell are you talking about? I said the cat was more domestic than it was bobcat but you are hellbent on calling it a bobcat. So I said.....just forget it. Forget I said a word."

At that point Kevin came out from behind the house and I had to hear the entire story of their dead cats and the half bobcat that the preacher neighbors had years ago. I am sure that they didn't notice me standing there slack jawed and looking like a zombie while they both prattled on about how dangerous and evil bobcats are.

"Well, I'm going to take this little guy back to the house and see if he wants to kill something. Its a shame because he's a really good kitten and I think that if we just kept taking good care of him that he'd be fine."

"OH MA GAWD MIKE DON'T! He might be real nice! He's just a kitten Mike. You don' know if he's gonna be mean so don' try to make him mean."

"Yeah but you just said that all bobcats are meeeeeeeeeean. I figure if this one isn't yet then I should get to work on him right?"

"MIKE DON' DO ANYTHIN TO THAT KITTEN!" Kevin, tell him to be nice to it."

"Mike, she's right, it could be a nice cat. It's only part bobcat right? So it'll prolly be ok."

"Um...ok....but...You do realize that no less than a minute ago you both told me that all bobcats are mean, have rabies and kill other cats and to get rid of this one. Now I'm not stupid. I didn't make that up. That just happened."

"Well DUH! We know that."

"OK. Soooooooo do you have anything to add before I take the kitten to the pound? I don't want a dangerous cat in my house that probably has rabies right?"

"Oh Mike we will keep it if you don' wan him. He's cute. Kevin an me are gittin rid of the other kittens we got in a few weeks. We would luv ta have a bobcat kitten."

"Seriously? You.....why........Seriously!?!?! You have confused the heck out of me. I have never in my life been as confused as I am right now. I am going to go home with my bobcat and try to figure out what just happened. Talk to ya later."

"Mike you still want ta have them grilled steaks tonight right?"

"Yep, what time should Dawn and I come over?"

"Well ya can come over any time but if yer confused then maybe take a nap and come over when ya feel better."

I walked home with my bobcat kitten and tried to make sense of what had happened. Later Dawn came home and we went back to The Neighbor Ladies house for dinner. What a treat it was. 

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